What the Hell Just Happened?

I have always had the intention that this blog would not be too political. Well today, I’m going to blow that theory up. And be warned, I am a republican. If you are going to be offended you may not want to read further. I am talking about democrats and republicans because I think I’m ready to insult both!! I’d like to start with congratulations to President Obama. As Americans we sign on to the belief that as a whole we elect the president. Even if “as a whole” the American people are idiots! The people have spoken. As much as I don’t like it, you are the president and elected by the people and FOR the people. I do hope you remember the FOR the people part. All the people republicans and democrats. Even the people who didn’t vote for you and you may want to have some revenge on!! It is my hope that you open those 10 gallon ears of yours and listen to all people and maybe take yourself off the pedestal that you put yourself on. I didn’t vote for you in the last election either, but accepted your election and gave you the benefit of the doubt. I was hoping I was wrong and all the people who voted for you knew much more than I. Well you certainly won’t be getting that this time. I do want you to succeed, for the sake of the country. I just don’t believe you have the humility to. You won’t listen to the other side of the isle or the American people. You know, the ones who clearly told you that Obamacare was not their choice? But you know what’s best for us! And now that you have more room to deal with the Russians, please don’t sell out our country (again)!! Quit taking shit from 3rd world armpits of the earth! Don’t ever leave or men and women in the military hanging (again). Please TRY to earn their respect! Got to stop now, getting too upset to talk about him. Let’s continue with Romney. Gov. Romney, you weren’t my first choice either. Whereas I don’t agree with the message and kinder and gentler campaign you were doing, I know that wasn’t all you. We heard a lot of negative ads complaining about Bain Capital, etc. Still don’t know what is wrong with trying to get rich? Isn’t that what you are supposed to do in a capitalist country? Again, you were not my first choice this time, but you did run a class campaign and ran with dignity. Good luck to you in future endeavors. However, I am going to take exception to the Republican Party. Can you have your head any further up your ass?! Really?! You have a sitting president with a low approval rating who has failed miserably on every front and you can’t beat that?! I’ve got a lot of issues with the Republican Party right now. It reminds me of back when I was catholic. The Catholic Church had one really good thing they were doing for the kids (or the future of their church) and decided it wasn’t catholic enough so dropped it. You have to energize the kids! They are our future! Incidentally, I no longer consider myself catholic. Anyway…………..with all that was going wrong with the president, is being a nice guy what Romney really needed to focus on? Believe I would have mentioned Benghazi more. Or fast and furious. Or the economy. Or how many rounds of golf being played. Or family vacations. Or Israel. Or terrorism. Or GOVERNMENT SPENDING! Or national debt (inserting a big apology here to my children and grandchildren). Ok, got to stop now because I’m getting heated again. Just know, VERY DISSAPOINTED in the Republican Party. Always thought we could use a George Stephanopoulos. Didn’t like his politics, but he ran a great campaign! Now to touch on the media. I’m not even going to talk about the mainstream media. They’re a disgrace. I want to focus on FoxNews. That is where I got my information. And let me tell you…………..YOU SUCK!!! What makes you any different from the other jackholes?! You painted quite a rosy picture of how Romney was going to win this election and in some cases run away with it. Karl Rove suggested until the very end that Romney was going to win. I know he worked with the republicans, but damn it you’re supposed to report not fill people’s heads with pipedreams! FoxNews…Fair and Balanced MY ASS!!! You spinning your ideal ology on the American people is no different than CBS not reporting on Benghazi. As hot as your anchorwomen are, I will no longer listen to your drivel!! The bad thing is, I guess I can no longer listen to any news because they are all slanted! If you read this blog please let me know what is going on in the world!!! Lastly, like any good competition, we must move on. My Facebook was ablaze this morning with all kinds of slander and rants. Am I happy? NO! But it’s over. The American people have spoken and let’s move on. I hope President Obama is successful, because then our country is successful. I do want this country to succeed. I will put my faith in God and His will be done. If you don’t believe in God, well then you’re screwed! Seriously, if you don’t believe in God, then your candidate won anyway so you don’t really have to pray! But moving forward, God Bless America and Good Luck to our country.

It's NOT a Purse!

For the past 15 years or so I’ve been carrying around what I like to call a “Dr. Bag.” Some may call it a “purse” (Nancy) and others a “European Man Bag.” It is neither of those things, mostly because I live in the great state of TEXAS. Men in Texas are accustomed to having certain items that they may need which just don’t fit in our wallets. (Like we carry real wallets!). If I leave the house, rest assured I have my Dr. bag. In my car, in my boat, in hotel rooms, wherever. If I feel I may need any of the things in it, it comes with me. It’s kind of like a security blanket. The other day I was getting into my car and was having a hard time getting it out from under the console where it belongs when I get out of my car. A couple of weeks ago I had a hard time fitting it into the lockable storage compartment of the boat while I was going into a restaurant to eat. This got me to thinking about down-sizing. Maybe I don’t need as big of a Dr. bag? So I’m doing an inventory to figure out exactly what I could cut loose so I could get a smaller Dr. bag.
The outside of the Dr. bag has 3 full size pockets and 2 mini pockets. In the full size pockets there are….
1. Wallet. This is actually a money clip with a slot for credit cards. I haven’t actually had any currency since I had children but it holds receipts as well.
2. Keys. Real men do not carry key chains. They have one ring with 5 or fewer keys. I have 2.5 keys on mine. I’m counting the handcuff key as a half!
3. Cell phone. Gotta have your wubby close!
Small pockets…………………….
1. Pen. Had an old HS coach tell me to always carry a pen. Don’t know why I listened to him, but I did.
2. Knife. The knife I carry in my outside pocket is very sharp, and very useful. It has a seat belt cutter and a window breaker and the TCSO seal on the outside. Very nice. Apparently I have a knife fetish because there are more knives to follow.
The inside of the Dr. bag could basically be broken down into 4 categories; tools, medical, recreation and etc.
TOOLS:
1. Glock 9MM. The second amendment guaranties my right to bear arms and the great state of Texas permits me to carry one, so I do. I don’t recommend this for everyone. If you have a chip on your shoulder, short temper, aren’t a good communicator or a member of your neighborhood watch who has always dreamed of being a cop who calls 911 every time someone rings your doorbell and runs or you sweat the small stuff, etc. DO NOT carry a gun!
2. If you do, carry the speed loader too!
3. Keys. I have a key ring that has my extra keys, keys to other people’s houses, extra boat keys, etc.
4. Lock. Just in case I hafta lock up my boat trailer on fishing trips.
5. Flashlight. Like who doesn’t need a flashlight?!
6. Wubby holder. Just in case I am wearing a belt and need to clip my phone to my belt.
7. Knives. I kinda mentioned a knife fetish earlier. Here is my dilemma…
a. Box cutter and razor blades. Just in case you hafta cut up some boxes? Ok, maybe I could lose this one, but it’s UT burnt orange!!
b. Hunting knife. A present from Bill and Beej. Good to have in case the gun misfires or I need a silent kill?
c. My folding Gator knife. Oddly enough, Cory gave this to me for Father’s Day years before he had a son named Gator! Won’t part with it!
d. Swiss Army Knife. Actually used the screw driver and cork screw on this one in the past few weeks.
MEDICINE:
1. Pill box. Can you believe we’re old enough to carry pill boxes?
2. Ibuprofen. I carry the large bottle. Guess I could down size now that I don’t live with my daughters anymore?
3. Anti-Diarrheal. Better to have it and not need it……………..
4. Tums. Enough bad camp fire food and you’d carry this too!
5. Hand sanitizer. Self-explanatory.
6. Lotion. For when the sun dries you out.
7. More hand sanitizer. The spray kind.
8. Wet wipes. In case the anti-diarrheal didn’t work!
9. Dental floss. Can double as fishing line in a pinch.
RECREATION:
1. IPod. Gotta have tunes. I have about 7000 of my favorite songs on mine.
2. Arm band. In case you exercise.
3. Hand held radio. Don’t know why I still carry this. But back in the day when bird hunting with the guys we would use them to relay important information, such as; “I’m out of beer!”
4. Sun screen. Never use this. I think T snuck this into my bag to give me a hint.
5. Baseball hat clip that hold your ball marker. UT style.
6. Sun glasses strap. To hold your glasses on when you’re screaming down the lake in your boat!
7. Another clip. To hold your hat to your shirt.
8. Team 84 wrist band. The Legend Continues……….
9. Skeeter stick. Don’t know why I just don’t have a small thing of Off?
10. Guitar pick. UT style. Don’t even have a guitar anymore.
ETC:
1. Checkbook. I’ve written about 10 checks in the last few years. But you never know when you’re gonna make a huge purchase.
2. Matches. And why not a lighter?
3. Antelope Tag. This is from 2008. Guess I’ll let this go.
4. Raffle ticket. Hoping to win a new .45 pistol.
5. Insurance card. If you need insurance, let me know. I gotta guy.
6. Hunting license. Not even this year’s. gonna let this go as well. New one is in my wallet.
7. Altoids. Just in case my wife (or anyone else) ever wants to kiss me.
8. $30 IOU from my brother. Just in case we have another poker game! I will use this if I have to!
9. Eye glass cleaner. To clean the sun glasses.
So you see, I gotta have all this stuff! It’s important. Glad I’m not a girl and hafta carry make up too!!!

You're All Important!

As I was perusing facebook the other day, catching up on all the “goings-ons” of all the people dear to me, I got to thinking. Am I being honest on my friend collection? Are all these people really friends? I delete my facebook account about 10 months or so. The bad news is sometimes, it takes a lot of time to regain all the friends I had. There are some notable missing people on this list. I noticed some people very close to me have over 1000 friends. Not sure what I would do with 1000 friends. I looked at my list and I am proud to say EVERYONE on it has a special place in my heart. And I’m gonna prove it by numbering y’all and letting you figure out what number you are. I’d like to see if you remember what I do. So look over the list. What number are you? I may use names that you would know as well. It is important to note that the numbers are not necessarily in alphabetical order nor order of importance except for the 1st two plus.

1. You are my whole world. You saved me from myself and I cannot imagine not having you in my life. We haven’t known each other as long as a lot of people on this list, but I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

2a. You forced me to grow up, and it was needed. I am so proud of the man you are growing into. I do not love another man as much as I love you, but your sons will come close.

2b. I was looking thru my stuff the other day and found a letter you wrote the tooth fairy saying you lost a tooth and it fell behind you bed and you’d like to receive credit for it as well as this one. I cannot tell you how much you mean to me.

2c. You’re the one who most closely resembles my personality. I was getting the dirty clothes out of your room once and found a piece of paper (maybe it was a note) describing your first “real” kiss. My heart sank. NOBODY will ever love you as much as DLY!

5. McA! What I remember most about you is you ALWAYS had a camera and took bunches of pictures back in the day!
6. You are so strong for your small frame. I admire the way you juggle job/family.
7. If I were a girl, I’d be you. You are the keeper of my mojo!
8. My favorite boss.
9. dude! You insisted on calling the band Duran! Duran!, Durham! Durham!
10. I’ve always said you were the nicest of all the brothers.
11. One of my best friends for 30+ years. Even now when we always say we’ll get together but never do.
12. Young love, first love.
13. CB! How did you end up with my tux on prom night?
14. Seems like I always ended up hanging with you on Halloween night during the egg wars.
15. I hid under your bed once when the cops were looking for me. You happened to be having a party just down the road where some hooligans that looked like me were involved in some shenanigans!
16. Dude! You peed on my shoe while we were out looking for Christmas trees. I married you!
17. You lived right down the street and our brothers were best friends.
18. You were part of the drill team that always spoiled us football players.
19. For years I got you and Stacy Childers mixed up. You’re both beautiful.
20. You think I don’t like you but anyone who loves my brother as much as you do is ok in my book.
21. I really enjoyed our time at Trinity together. You were a strong shoulder when I was going thru a bad time.
22. The Hunter! The only OU guy I like.
23. You recently had your first moose hunt. I was really jealous of all the pictures.
24. I love hearing you quotes, etc. on FB. You and your significant other remind me so much of T and I.
25. My favorite customer when I was business banking! We need to get together although I’m kinda afraid to introduce you to my wife now that I know she’s a guitar chaser!!
26. My nephew’s mom! The example of southern class!
27. Dave, I would never worry about my back when you were in the same city!
28. Fellow Blogger who never blogs due to time constraints! Very funny lady!
29. I shouldn’t know people with hearts as big as yours. There is a special place in heaven for you!!
30. Dude! I shoulda known back in HS you would have a job where you have to talk! I believe we worked together at TCSO as well.
31. One of my HS gf’s best friends. Also one of my daughter’s favorite teachers!!
32. Another drill team girl. You HATED me! I think we’ve gotten thru it tho! We’re gonna ride bikes soon!
33. The way you love my sister is a perfect example of how a man should love his wife. Quite an inspiration. Also quite a NANCY!
34. You helped me thru a difficult time and help me to believe in myself and get back onto my feet. And we had fun!
35. I get such a kick outta watching you grow up into a fine young man. Really hated I didn’t see a game, but hope when you get to Austin we can do plucker’s!
36. In my will, you got it all. I would trust a lot of people on this list with my life, but very few with the lives of my kids.
37. Remember when you came to the Schwab Family Picnic 7 months pregnant?
38. Living the Dream………….in China!
39. Hung out with you several times for hunting down south. Great times.
40. Hold me back! Hold him up!!
41. My fellow conservative!
42. I was supposed to work for you at Chase, then you bolted! Good luck in your race.
43. Murph. Work and fishing. Who says you can’t do both?
44. Worked and dodged work with you. Wish we could get together for a game!!
45. You’re responsible for 3 of my favorite boys! We have a lot of love in this family. Glad you chose to share it with us!
46. You’re a towel!
47. Gur-Gur!
48. I handed you the baton and one night out drinking my big mouth got us a little more than we bargained for.
49. JIMMIE!!
50. When I first came to P-ville, you were the badass!
51. I just loved the whole group of you girls. But you married one of my best friend’s brothers! A lot of fun times!
52. You had a crush on me. You told me at hanover’s one night. And to think all those times I spent the night with your brother I never knew.
53. Fat kitty, fat kitty, fat kitty! Oh yeah, fat kitty!
54. We used to jump our bikes from you neighbor’s driveway into your yard. One time I caught the tree and really hurt myself!
55. You’re funny! Glad you’re back in Texas. We danced at Sherlock’s!
56. Really miss our coffee and donuts before anyone else got to work!
57. Another Trinity gal. Really loves music, especially Todd Rundgren!
58. Two Trinity girls in a row. And my legal confidant when I needed advice.
59. Just agreed to join the Schwab Family. Dude, it’s not as bad as you think.
60. So glad you moved back! Thanks for all the pet advice and answering all my ?’s!
61. Part of the lamplight crew! Miss your bro dude!
62. Brought a stalker to lunch!
63. You were my gf for about a week and a friend of mine was going out with one of your friends. Then after about a week, we switched.
64. We went out once and I got poisoned! I called you from the restroom and told you I was dying!
65. You make my oldest daughter happy. That’s not easy to do!
66. I tried to be your stalker.
67. We used to worry about our mutual friend! And our Bdays are next to each other.
68. Elk hunting? Really?
69. You and Beej were roommates. Almost got killed leaving your apartment by Reagan High School.
70. So had a crush on you in 6th grade. Never told you.
71. My first girlfriend. I scarred you for life!
72. Tried to teach me how to play tennis. When that didn’t work, we’d just walk town lake.
73. “After work today Daddy is going to take me to get new shoes!”
74. I so enjoy hunting and camping with you and your husband and sons!
75. I married your sister, you’re stuck with me!
76. The One
77. Another drill team girl. Always called you by your last name. I don’t know why.
78. My aggie friend.
79. Fro in charge of picking up …..
80. I’ve only made a few friends in the last 20 or so years. Everywhere you went you tried to hire me.
81. Sang you my version of California Girls on the way back from a band trip to Sandy Park.
82. Used to live around the corner from Bruce. Had a way cool motorcycle.
83. I remember you for a lot of reasons, sadly one of them is for killing Willie!
84. Broke my heart in the 8th grade. I remember REO Speedwagon’s Take It On The Run always reminded me of you.
85. You play WWF and HWF more than I do. Good thing we don’t work all day!
86. I remember when you were a soph and I was a jr. during football practice you the way you would always run up to the line and hold up your hands to get people to line up right.
87. Got the baton from you. READY MIKE?!! The most interesting man in the world!
88. You’re married to my neice. Good job, both of you.
89. Sweetie! Can you come change Grandma’s diaper?!(yelled down from the 7th floor to you while talking to some boys at the pool)
90. Never did go camping!
91. Hates Colt McCoy! Other than that, you’re awesome!
92. Dude! FCT!
93. One of the nicest people from the Class of ’83. Was also huge and strong!!!
94. The only other woman I’ve been in bed with since I’ve been married.
95. We had a date to Aqua Fest and your parents dropped us off in their K car!
96. Pissed you off about a year ago. Haven’t talked since. But I won’t delete you!
97. Really enjoyed our day on the lake in the boat! And the raiders suck!
98. The Beautiful of the Bald and the Beautiful.
99. I think we kinda went to homecoming our sr. year!
100. I mowed the lawn at the house you rented to a mutual friend.
101. You were my brother’s best friend. I was so mad when y’all took my new car out before you brought it home to me. I was waiting on the curb for it!!
102. We both have CRAZY sister in laws
103. I used to call you Bob just to piss you off.
104. We had an art class together.
105. Your one of my son’s best friends. I like your parents too!
106. You are the wittiest person I know. Always tell people you remind me of Carol Burnet. (Editor’s note: Two of the funniest people I know, back to back)
107. Again, miss those early Friday morning “meetings” at the branch.
108. Only person to be on my friends list twice. How’d you do that? Jay Poops.
109. You were my first gf after I got a car.
110. a. don’t you hate when your lumped in with your sister?
111. b. I know mine do.
112. You let that girl get close to me with RATS!!!
113. Stood us up at Chuy’s! Still waiting for lunch.
114. Only the smartest person I ever knew. Called your brother Bob to make him mad.
115. I remember holding you at my 8th grade graduation. Thought chics would dig it.
116. You seemed so little in school. You are huge in heart! Always thought you were just a great guy!
117. Fergie-Bob
118. Dude, I remember banging on y’alls front door and telling your brother (RIP) about yours and Beej’s wreck.
119. You’re a beautiful swan! And you love music.
120. Another band story. You played the tuba!
121. Well hello mr. piss officer
122. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!
123. Your brother was a good friend of mine. And your dad “adopted” me warts and all!
124. Called you a bitch once. Apologized 20 or so years later.
125. Gotta love those drill team girls! Ames and I called you from hanover’s one night to ask a very poignant question.
126. You flashed me at hanover’s! Actually you flashed someone else and when I complained I missed it, you flashed me.
127. One of my inner circle. Glad at least the two of us can still do lunch!
128. You could take a stereo out of a car faster than anyone
129. Proud owner of the Brady Bulldogs.
130. I remember going to the power lifting meet with you down in NB.
131. The only other person who loves both RR and Vince Flynn as much as me.
132. Urinal Cakes? Really?
133. You’ve been my best friend for the past 36 years. I don’t really have anything to say about that.
134. you, #133, big nick and I got a scolding on the last day of school our jr year from Coach T.
135. I got more action in your bedroom when you were outta town with your parents than you ever did!
136. dude, you lived with my bro. great parties at that place..

There it is. I have a memory or something that reminds me of each of you. Glad your all part of my memory. Let’s make some more.

Buddy's Hierarchy of Wants

Let’s get one thing straight………………I love my wife. Sometimes I worry that love just isn’t strong enough! I wish I could do more than just love her. She is the best wife ever (BWE, in case you were wondering). As much as I want to make her happy 100% of the time, sometimes I fall short. Very short. Yesterday I made her mad. Again, I want to stress how much I love my wife. I would never do anything demeaning to her on purpose. Nor would I understate her equality, even jokingly. But yesterday that is exactly what I did. It happened when God’s favorite university (a thank you to our pastor for referring to the Mighty Longhorns in this manner) was playing a football game. She said something (I’m not sure what) and I said, “QUIET!” It wasn’t “Shhhh” or “wait a minute” but “QUIET!” Maybe not uncalled for, but demeaning and very wrong. It certainly isn’t reflective of the way I feel about her and the respect I have for her. For saying this, especially in the way it must have sounded, I am truly sorry. There is no excuse for this type of behavior. Now, that said, let me tell you my excuse.


Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a theory in psychology, proposed by Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper A Theory of Human Motivation.[2] Maslow subsequently extended the idea to include his observations of humans' innate curiosity. His theories parallel many other theories of human developmental psychology, all of which focus on describing the stages of growth in humans. (Wikipedia)










Buddy’s hierarchy of wants is an attempt at an excuse for sometimes boar-ish man behavior proposed by Buddy in a 2011 apology. This idea included lame assed excuses for paying more attention to a football game than his very attractive and intelligent wife. This theory may sound like many Man-therories all which try to excuse animal-like behavior during three months in the fall when all the stars (fishing, hunting, football, along with the end of baseball season) align. (Buddy)






In my defense, Longhorn Football is ranked very high (along with hunting and fishing). She was wanting to find out information concerning the Texas Ranger Baseball game. While a beautiful woman caring about sports is hot in most cases, in my very weak man mind I couldn't comprehend why there was background noise during a Longhorn game. Texas Ranger Baseball, while the most acceptable of all baseball is ranked only above all other baseball and talking about our feelings. It does not matter if I said, “QUIET!” or “quiet” it was still unacceptable.
So you know what happens when my wife is mad at me? She cleans the house. Again, I will be the first to admit that I do not understand women, but she cleaned the house! She did the laundry. She even scrubbed the toilets and swept the kitchen floor!! (Do you know how hard it was not to make the “where you going” comment when she had the broom in her hand?! I wasn’t about to push anything). Looking back on things, this reminds me of Alf (my mom) when she used to get mad at me (and she had ample opportunities). My mom would distract herself by doing chores, most notably the dishes usually done to the sounds of her mumbling under her breath and the accompaniment of crashing dishes. I guess what I’m saying here is my wife reminds me of my mother. I really can’t give her a higher compliment.

The State of the BS

State of the BS
07/12/2011

HEY EVERYBODY!!! It’s been awhile. Thought I’d test out the blog waters today. I thought about bitching about something, but here’s the deal…………..I got nothing to bitch about!! So I thought I’d use this time to give you a “state of the BS” speech. So going forward, you know where I am. I used to divide my life into 3 categories. 1. Family Life 2. Work Life. 3. Love Life. In the past several years things have usually been good in 2 of those three categories. Rarely have I ever been clicking on all cylinders tho! Even when things were great with the kids and work, my love life would drag me down. When things were going well at work and I thought I was enjoying the carefree single life, my angels were killing me. But right now (well maybe not right now, but I actually had this epiphany while scrubbing the toilet an hour or so ago. Yes, an epiphany about how great life is WHILE scrubbing a toilet!) things are good!

In the family life things are GREAT! I cannot tell you how great it is enjoying my grown children. I am so proud of the adults they turning out to be! TCB was always my motto and they seem to be doing it as well. We had a bbq a couple of weeks ago and all the kids were here. And even better, my brothers’ sons made it as well. My brothers were the last people here and for a couple of hours I spent time with my son and nephews and their mates. It was so cool sitting around and talking to these former kids as grown-ups. Then my daughters showed up with their boyfriends and I realized something………I like both of their boyfriends! This has NEVER happened. All of them are just so grown up. I am so proud of all of them. My X wife just lost someone in her family. My daughter’s drove to the funeral together in New Mexico. Their mom didn’t even make it, but they were there to represent her family. All the feedback I saw on Facebook was like…..”talked to the girls at the funeral. They are such wonderful young ladies….etc.” I like to think I had something to do with that!! And my son is such a great dad. I love hanging out with his kids. I know I cannot take credit for his very calm demeanor when he is dealing with his boys, but I will take some for his sense of right and wrong! And all the nephews are all so respectful and gracious. The future is definitely looking good for the Schwab family. IJS! And to take it a step farther (there is a pun here!) I am really enjoying the dynamic of living in a house again with teenagers! I’ll repeat……….”I enjoy living with teenagers.” T’s boys are great. I didn’t think I liked teenagers, but these guys are pretty cool. We enjoy such things as going for ice cream, pizza, dude movies and driving their mom crazy! We have even started to make up our own language. Ya know I can just picture Cory pulling them aside and giving them the old, “you guys are lucky! In my day he wasn’t so mellow! He used to be a demanding, mean spirited, ornery ass, until he started drinking, then watch out!” Probably has. So to recap….family life = good.

Went back to work for a county agency involved in crime prevention and detention. The funny thing is I enjoy the hell out of it. In my lifetime I have taken bigger pay cuts than anyone I know. I’ve accepted jobs making less than half of what I was making twice now. The first time was so I could spend more time watching my daughters grow up. The last time so I could live long enough to see them have children. It took me a few years to learn it, but money isn’t everything. Bigger money sometimes just has bigger problems. I like the fact that when I’m home now, I don’t even think about work. I don’t have customers calling me on Sundays or all hours of the night. There are no quotas or production issues. As a matter of fact, occasionally I get to actually tell my “customers” they ARE in fact wrong and have gone as far as laying hands on them and put them in cuffs! Wouldn’t it be cool do be able to do that in the banking world? So to recap….work life = good.

I don’t mean to brag (yes I do) but things are pretty good in the ol’ love life as well. I love my wife. I know that’s my job, but she makes it so easy! We are about to go on our first vacation since we’ve been married. Gonna drive to Tennessee with her boys. Catch some Civil War battlegrounds and then the Schwab Family Picnic! I’m sure going to SFP isn’t her idea of a vacation, but my baby tolerates! I so enjoy our brief encounters in the morning. She waits to get out of bed until I come home from work. We usually get to spend a quality 15 or so minutes lying in bed. I try really hard to not go to sleep until she goes to work! (oh did I mention she tolerates me working the night shift?). I have more time off now than I ever had in sales or banking. It just isn’t always on the weekends. And I do so much enjoy spending that time with her! I am so glad I met her AFTER I got my head out of my ass! I’m fairly sure she wouldn’t have gone out with the old Buddy more than once! So again…..Love life = good!

So now that we’re all caught up on the state of the BS, I can begin next time with all the problems in this world. Right now everything is great in mine!

THE GREAT STATE, of mind and otherwise!

I being today’s blog by pointing out I was born in far north Texas. Tulsa. As I try to skirt the debate now about being in THE GREAT STATE illegally, I must point out that I married a citizen that was born in San Antonio and has live here her entire life. Whereas I’m not sold on amnesty, I have lived in THE GREAT STATE for 35 of my 44 years. I was educated in small town TEXAS. Have worked for state and county governments here and all of my kids and grandkids have been born in THE GREAT STATE. Also, I have contributed a great deal to the tax base here. I have not only paid my fair share, but other’s too. Even when I go to New Mexico to go skiing (which would still be in the GREAT STATE by the map of 1836), I will fill up at the state line and will not fill up again until I come back to Texas. My wife and I were talking the other day about places we would like to go and she doesn’t really care to leave the U.S. and I told her that I really didn’t care to leave Texas. So now I will go on with my rant knowing I’m a complete hypocrite since I was not actually born here. (anyone who has read previous blogs know I am a hypocrite anyway due to strong Catholic upbringing and a mother who perfected Catholic guilt. IJS). I must also remind readers that Travis, Bowie and Crockett while not born here, were all VERY TEXAN! Travis was born in S. Carolina, Bowie was from Kentucky and Crockett from Tennessee, but all very TEXAN. All of these men died in the Republic of Texas. That is my dream as well. (All were also Colonels. Everything dear to me, besides my wife, is named with a “C”. All my kids, grandkids etc. I would now like to challenge my children. Next person to have a baby, which should be in at least 10 years, name him “Colonel” after these great Texans! And he would immediately outrank Major Applewhite, not easily done here. Hmmmm, Colt also begins with a C?) I would also like to give much respect for all of those great states for their contributions to THE GREAT STATE.

Now, about my claim of being born in Far North Texas…..it’s not that farfetched. We all know that “manifest destiny” was our founding father’s dream. From “sea to shining sea” was what they had in mind from the beginning. However, much like north and south Austin are very different from each other, THE GREAT STATE is very different from much of the U.S. We were once a republic. Our own country. If our founding fathers would have had the vision of the U.S. founding fathers, North America would have 3 countries, not just two. (Editor’s note: I realize North America has 23 countries, but right now I’m focusing on the north and not central or Caribbean). That’s right; North America would consist of Canada, The U.S. and Texas. Had Texas founding fathers followed their manifest destiny maybe Texas could have gone from sea (Gulf of Mexico) to shining sea (Pacific Coast). Then Ronald Reagan would have been president of Texas and not from California!! I like to bring to mind all the great things THE GREAT STATE has to offer. If you don’t live here, you may not get it. You really have to listen to the Lyle Lovett song “That’s Right You’re Not From Texas” to start to understand it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMhaehb5AnE

In my favorite part of the song his girlfriend asks him….”what’s so great about your Lone Star State?” And then lets her out on the side of the highway. Classic. Music is one thing Texas has done right. Willie Nelson, George Strait, ZZ Top, The Great Stevie Ray Vaughn, Robert Earl Keen, Kevin Fowler and way too many singer/songwriters to mention them all. And all with an attitude. Just listen to Ray Wylie Hubbard explain it here…………

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22Mrez7ahZA

There is just moxie in everything every Texan does. An attitude befitting of any demi-god. Remember the old saying, “one riot, one ranger?” or how about the following joke…………….....

Upon hearing there was one last survivor in the Alamo, Santa Anna sent in 10 of his soldiers to go get him. Nothing. Santa Anna sent 20 of his soldiers in after him. Nothing. Frustrated, Santa Anna sent in 100 soldiers. One battered and bruised soldier escaped to report to Santa Anna, “It’s a trap! There’s TWO of them!”

It’s that same moxie that certainly allowed me to bite off more than I could chew several times as a young man. And again as a middle aged man, IJS. Yes, Texas is made up of a bunch of proud and maybe arrogant people. Not French arrogant, Texas confident! Again, IJS.

I go visit the less fortunate in other states and I swear whenever I leave THE GREAT STATE it just gets cloudy and dreary. Whenever I return, it’s blue skies. There are not bluer skies anywhere than Texas. I always enjoy coming back in from the east on I-10 to read the sign that says……El Paso 879 miles. It’s just kinda brassy. I enjoy going to Oklahoma as well. It’s just nice to know I’m the smartest one in the whole state!

You’ve always heard the arguments that Texas would still be one of the strongest countries in the world. We got NASA. We got the largest army base. We got the beaches. We got the entertainment. We got the Dallas Cowboys for Pete’s sake. (We will make a concession and give Jerry Jones back to Arkansas however!). Texas Rangers (team and elite crime fighting unit, and Walker!). Mavericks. Astros. And beautiful women. I know the 3 most beautiful women live in Texas because I have lived with all them at one time or another.

And I take nothing away from other great states. I would certainly include most of the states in the south in the list of great states. And don’t turn this into a racist thing, it’s not. Less we forget it was a President from Texas who championed equal rights more than anyone (maybe to the extreme of reverse prejudice). All I’m saying here is Texas needs to be its own country. Now that I’ve run that by you look for my upcoming blog on why to vote for me for President of Texas!

I WON!! I WON!!

Ya know………if I don’t start writing more blogs I’m gonna have to change the name from occasional bs to rarely bs!! Seems like last I wrote I had just gotten married and really wanted to talk about how great it is. I used to always imagine how great it would be if I won the lottery. Well friend, let me tell you I have. I’ve won the “wife lottery!” Even as I sit here writing this very blog, I feel the strength and love sitting right next to me. (and to punctuate it, she just burped and acted like nothing happened). I just get such a rush sitting next to her. Now don’t get me wrong, what’s not to love? She is wearing her fancy pajamas with a sweater on because she gets chilly. I mean nothing says “sexy” like the wool sweater and baggy long pj’s. (another burp). Hard to believe we’ve only been married a couple of months. I truly believe this woman lies awake at night thinking of ways to make me happy. I happened to mention to her in an email that I was really tired today and she picked me up with a cup of starbucks! But there is the thought that marriage is a two way street so let me tell you where I come into this relationship. I noticed this yesterday and started backtracking in my mind our earlier experiences and I see a pattern. I help her with her diet. When we go out to eat she eats until I finish my food and then I finish hers too. See, I’m a giver. Last night was extra special because when I got done with our food we got ice cream. And guess what? She couldn’t finish hers!!! But it’s not all about food. Unless we’re talking about bacon, then it’s all about food. I’m just sayin’! Right now we’re in bed. We have the Longhorn basketball game on and nobody is saying a word. We are both punching away at our keyboards in our own little worlds. But the cool thing is as far apart as we are, her in her cyber space and me in mine, we are together. Another thing I noticed the other day was whenever I get up in middle of the night to go potty (which reminds me I need to make a dr appt or quit drinking so much water) I always tell her I love her when I crawl back into bed and whether she’s awake or not she always responds that she loves me too. It’s my belief she just likes to be agreeable. I’ve used this to my advantage and recently got her blessing to go hang out with the boys for a weekend in a couple of weeks. (note to self: remind T of that weekend sometime when she’s awake). (burp). So as I sit here in our bedroom under the cloud of gas that has developed, I count my blessing. For I, my friend, have won the lottery. I may not have a lot of money, but I’m the richest person I know.