Buddy's Hierarchy of Wants

Let’s get one thing straight………………I love my wife. Sometimes I worry that love just isn’t strong enough! I wish I could do more than just love her. She is the best wife ever (BWE, in case you were wondering). As much as I want to make her happy 100% of the time, sometimes I fall short. Very short. Yesterday I made her mad. Again, I want to stress how much I love my wife. I would never do anything demeaning to her on purpose. Nor would I understate her equality, even jokingly. But yesterday that is exactly what I did. It happened when God’s favorite university (a thank you to our pastor for referring to the Mighty Longhorns in this manner) was playing a football game. She said something (I’m not sure what) and I said, “QUIET!” It wasn’t “Shhhh” or “wait a minute” but “QUIET!” Maybe not uncalled for, but demeaning and very wrong. It certainly isn’t reflective of the way I feel about her and the respect I have for her. For saying this, especially in the way it must have sounded, I am truly sorry. There is no excuse for this type of behavior. Now, that said, let me tell you my excuse.


Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a theory in psychology, proposed by Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper A Theory of Human Motivation.[2] Maslow subsequently extended the idea to include his observations of humans' innate curiosity. His theories parallel many other theories of human developmental psychology, all of which focus on describing the stages of growth in humans. (Wikipedia)










Buddy’s hierarchy of wants is an attempt at an excuse for sometimes boar-ish man behavior proposed by Buddy in a 2011 apology. This idea included lame assed excuses for paying more attention to a football game than his very attractive and intelligent wife. This theory may sound like many Man-therories all which try to excuse animal-like behavior during three months in the fall when all the stars (fishing, hunting, football, along with the end of baseball season) align. (Buddy)






In my defense, Longhorn Football is ranked very high (along with hunting and fishing). She was wanting to find out information concerning the Texas Ranger Baseball game. While a beautiful woman caring about sports is hot in most cases, in my very weak man mind I couldn't comprehend why there was background noise during a Longhorn game. Texas Ranger Baseball, while the most acceptable of all baseball is ranked only above all other baseball and talking about our feelings. It does not matter if I said, “QUIET!” or “quiet” it was still unacceptable.
So you know what happens when my wife is mad at me? She cleans the house. Again, I will be the first to admit that I do not understand women, but she cleaned the house! She did the laundry. She even scrubbed the toilets and swept the kitchen floor!! (Do you know how hard it was not to make the “where you going” comment when she had the broom in her hand?! I wasn’t about to push anything). Looking back on things, this reminds me of Alf (my mom) when she used to get mad at me (and she had ample opportunities). My mom would distract herself by doing chores, most notably the dishes usually done to the sounds of her mumbling under her breath and the accompaniment of crashing dishes. I guess what I’m saying here is my wife reminds me of my mother. I really can’t give her a higher compliment.

The State of the BS

State of the BS
07/12/2011

HEY EVERYBODY!!! It’s been awhile. Thought I’d test out the blog waters today. I thought about bitching about something, but here’s the deal…………..I got nothing to bitch about!! So I thought I’d use this time to give you a “state of the BS” speech. So going forward, you know where I am. I used to divide my life into 3 categories. 1. Family Life 2. Work Life. 3. Love Life. In the past several years things have usually been good in 2 of those three categories. Rarely have I ever been clicking on all cylinders tho! Even when things were great with the kids and work, my love life would drag me down. When things were going well at work and I thought I was enjoying the carefree single life, my angels were killing me. But right now (well maybe not right now, but I actually had this epiphany while scrubbing the toilet an hour or so ago. Yes, an epiphany about how great life is WHILE scrubbing a toilet!) things are good!

In the family life things are GREAT! I cannot tell you how great it is enjoying my grown children. I am so proud of the adults they turning out to be! TCB was always my motto and they seem to be doing it as well. We had a bbq a couple of weeks ago and all the kids were here. And even better, my brothers’ sons made it as well. My brothers were the last people here and for a couple of hours I spent time with my son and nephews and their mates. It was so cool sitting around and talking to these former kids as grown-ups. Then my daughters showed up with their boyfriends and I realized something………I like both of their boyfriends! This has NEVER happened. All of them are just so grown up. I am so proud of all of them. My X wife just lost someone in her family. My daughter’s drove to the funeral together in New Mexico. Their mom didn’t even make it, but they were there to represent her family. All the feedback I saw on Facebook was like…..”talked to the girls at the funeral. They are such wonderful young ladies….etc.” I like to think I had something to do with that!! And my son is such a great dad. I love hanging out with his kids. I know I cannot take credit for his very calm demeanor when he is dealing with his boys, but I will take some for his sense of right and wrong! And all the nephews are all so respectful and gracious. The future is definitely looking good for the Schwab family. IJS! And to take it a step farther (there is a pun here!) I am really enjoying the dynamic of living in a house again with teenagers! I’ll repeat……….”I enjoy living with teenagers.” T’s boys are great. I didn’t think I liked teenagers, but these guys are pretty cool. We enjoy such things as going for ice cream, pizza, dude movies and driving their mom crazy! We have even started to make up our own language. Ya know I can just picture Cory pulling them aside and giving them the old, “you guys are lucky! In my day he wasn’t so mellow! He used to be a demanding, mean spirited, ornery ass, until he started drinking, then watch out!” Probably has. So to recap….family life = good.

Went back to work for a county agency involved in crime prevention and detention. The funny thing is I enjoy the hell out of it. In my lifetime I have taken bigger pay cuts than anyone I know. I’ve accepted jobs making less than half of what I was making twice now. The first time was so I could spend more time watching my daughters grow up. The last time so I could live long enough to see them have children. It took me a few years to learn it, but money isn’t everything. Bigger money sometimes just has bigger problems. I like the fact that when I’m home now, I don’t even think about work. I don’t have customers calling me on Sundays or all hours of the night. There are no quotas or production issues. As a matter of fact, occasionally I get to actually tell my “customers” they ARE in fact wrong and have gone as far as laying hands on them and put them in cuffs! Wouldn’t it be cool do be able to do that in the banking world? So to recap….work life = good.

I don’t mean to brag (yes I do) but things are pretty good in the ol’ love life as well. I love my wife. I know that’s my job, but she makes it so easy! We are about to go on our first vacation since we’ve been married. Gonna drive to Tennessee with her boys. Catch some Civil War battlegrounds and then the Schwab Family Picnic! I’m sure going to SFP isn’t her idea of a vacation, but my baby tolerates! I so enjoy our brief encounters in the morning. She waits to get out of bed until I come home from work. We usually get to spend a quality 15 or so minutes lying in bed. I try really hard to not go to sleep until she goes to work! (oh did I mention she tolerates me working the night shift?). I have more time off now than I ever had in sales or banking. It just isn’t always on the weekends. And I do so much enjoy spending that time with her! I am so glad I met her AFTER I got my head out of my ass! I’m fairly sure she wouldn’t have gone out with the old Buddy more than once! So again…..Love life = good!

So now that we’re all caught up on the state of the BS, I can begin next time with all the problems in this world. Right now everything is great in mine!

THE GREAT STATE, of mind and otherwise!

I being today’s blog by pointing out I was born in far north Texas. Tulsa. As I try to skirt the debate now about being in THE GREAT STATE illegally, I must point out that I married a citizen that was born in San Antonio and has live here her entire life. Whereas I’m not sold on amnesty, I have lived in THE GREAT STATE for 35 of my 44 years. I was educated in small town TEXAS. Have worked for state and county governments here and all of my kids and grandkids have been born in THE GREAT STATE. Also, I have contributed a great deal to the tax base here. I have not only paid my fair share, but other’s too. Even when I go to New Mexico to go skiing (which would still be in the GREAT STATE by the map of 1836), I will fill up at the state line and will not fill up again until I come back to Texas. My wife and I were talking the other day about places we would like to go and she doesn’t really care to leave the U.S. and I told her that I really didn’t care to leave Texas. So now I will go on with my rant knowing I’m a complete hypocrite since I was not actually born here. (anyone who has read previous blogs know I am a hypocrite anyway due to strong Catholic upbringing and a mother who perfected Catholic guilt. IJS). I must also remind readers that Travis, Bowie and Crockett while not born here, were all VERY TEXAN! Travis was born in S. Carolina, Bowie was from Kentucky and Crockett from Tennessee, but all very TEXAN. All of these men died in the Republic of Texas. That is my dream as well. (All were also Colonels. Everything dear to me, besides my wife, is named with a “C”. All my kids, grandkids etc. I would now like to challenge my children. Next person to have a baby, which should be in at least 10 years, name him “Colonel” after these great Texans! And he would immediately outrank Major Applewhite, not easily done here. Hmmmm, Colt also begins with a C?) I would also like to give much respect for all of those great states for their contributions to THE GREAT STATE.

Now, about my claim of being born in Far North Texas…..it’s not that farfetched. We all know that “manifest destiny” was our founding father’s dream. From “sea to shining sea” was what they had in mind from the beginning. However, much like north and south Austin are very different from each other, THE GREAT STATE is very different from much of the U.S. We were once a republic. Our own country. If our founding fathers would have had the vision of the U.S. founding fathers, North America would have 3 countries, not just two. (Editor’s note: I realize North America has 23 countries, but right now I’m focusing on the north and not central or Caribbean). That’s right; North America would consist of Canada, The U.S. and Texas. Had Texas founding fathers followed their manifest destiny maybe Texas could have gone from sea (Gulf of Mexico) to shining sea (Pacific Coast). Then Ronald Reagan would have been president of Texas and not from California!! I like to bring to mind all the great things THE GREAT STATE has to offer. If you don’t live here, you may not get it. You really have to listen to the Lyle Lovett song “That’s Right You’re Not From Texas” to start to understand it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMhaehb5AnE

In my favorite part of the song his girlfriend asks him….”what’s so great about your Lone Star State?” And then lets her out on the side of the highway. Classic. Music is one thing Texas has done right. Willie Nelson, George Strait, ZZ Top, The Great Stevie Ray Vaughn, Robert Earl Keen, Kevin Fowler and way too many singer/songwriters to mention them all. And all with an attitude. Just listen to Ray Wylie Hubbard explain it here…………

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22Mrez7ahZA

There is just moxie in everything every Texan does. An attitude befitting of any demi-god. Remember the old saying, “one riot, one ranger?” or how about the following joke…………….....

Upon hearing there was one last survivor in the Alamo, Santa Anna sent in 10 of his soldiers to go get him. Nothing. Santa Anna sent 20 of his soldiers in after him. Nothing. Frustrated, Santa Anna sent in 100 soldiers. One battered and bruised soldier escaped to report to Santa Anna, “It’s a trap! There’s TWO of them!”

It’s that same moxie that certainly allowed me to bite off more than I could chew several times as a young man. And again as a middle aged man, IJS. Yes, Texas is made up of a bunch of proud and maybe arrogant people. Not French arrogant, Texas confident! Again, IJS.

I go visit the less fortunate in other states and I swear whenever I leave THE GREAT STATE it just gets cloudy and dreary. Whenever I return, it’s blue skies. There are not bluer skies anywhere than Texas. I always enjoy coming back in from the east on I-10 to read the sign that says……El Paso 879 miles. It’s just kinda brassy. I enjoy going to Oklahoma as well. It’s just nice to know I’m the smartest one in the whole state!

You’ve always heard the arguments that Texas would still be one of the strongest countries in the world. We got NASA. We got the largest army base. We got the beaches. We got the entertainment. We got the Dallas Cowboys for Pete’s sake. (We will make a concession and give Jerry Jones back to Arkansas however!). Texas Rangers (team and elite crime fighting unit, and Walker!). Mavericks. Astros. And beautiful women. I know the 3 most beautiful women live in Texas because I have lived with all them at one time or another.

And I take nothing away from other great states. I would certainly include most of the states in the south in the list of great states. And don’t turn this into a racist thing, it’s not. Less we forget it was a President from Texas who championed equal rights more than anyone (maybe to the extreme of reverse prejudice). All I’m saying here is Texas needs to be its own country. Now that I’ve run that by you look for my upcoming blog on why to vote for me for President of Texas!

I WON!! I WON!!

Ya know………if I don’t start writing more blogs I’m gonna have to change the name from occasional bs to rarely bs!! Seems like last I wrote I had just gotten married and really wanted to talk about how great it is. I used to always imagine how great it would be if I won the lottery. Well friend, let me tell you I have. I’ve won the “wife lottery!” Even as I sit here writing this very blog, I feel the strength and love sitting right next to me. (and to punctuate it, she just burped and acted like nothing happened). I just get such a rush sitting next to her. Now don’t get me wrong, what’s not to love? She is wearing her fancy pajamas with a sweater on because she gets chilly. I mean nothing says “sexy” like the wool sweater and baggy long pj’s. (another burp). Hard to believe we’ve only been married a couple of months. I truly believe this woman lies awake at night thinking of ways to make me happy. I happened to mention to her in an email that I was really tired today and she picked me up with a cup of starbucks! But there is the thought that marriage is a two way street so let me tell you where I come into this relationship. I noticed this yesterday and started backtracking in my mind our earlier experiences and I see a pattern. I help her with her diet. When we go out to eat she eats until I finish my food and then I finish hers too. See, I’m a giver. Last night was extra special because when I got done with our food we got ice cream. And guess what? She couldn’t finish hers!!! But it’s not all about food. Unless we’re talking about bacon, then it’s all about food. I’m just sayin’! Right now we’re in bed. We have the Longhorn basketball game on and nobody is saying a word. We are both punching away at our keyboards in our own little worlds. But the cool thing is as far apart as we are, her in her cyber space and me in mine, we are together. Another thing I noticed the other day was whenever I get up in middle of the night to go potty (which reminds me I need to make a dr appt or quit drinking so much water) I always tell her I love her when I crawl back into bed and whether she’s awake or not she always responds that she loves me too. It’s my belief she just likes to be agreeable. I’ve used this to my advantage and recently got her blessing to go hang out with the boys for a weekend in a couple of weeks. (note to self: remind T of that weekend sometime when she’s awake). (burp). So as I sit here in our bedroom under the cloud of gas that has developed, I count my blessing. For I, my friend, have won the lottery. I may not have a lot of money, but I’m the richest person I know.