Are We There Yet?

“Are we there yet?” Those four little words you hear on every road trip. I, my friends, am a road warrior. I like to leave early in the morning and not stop until I get there. Sure, you have to stop for gas and restrooms, but that’s it. I had a great plan when the kids were younger. I would leave on our road trips about 3AM. This way they would sleep for some of the time instead of fight the whole way. Not only that, but I could enjoy the drive for the first few hours. After that it was constantly those four little words, “are we there yet?” “Are we there yet?” “Are we there yet?” Usually I was “there” once we were all in the car. And I mean this in a good way. By the end of this blog I think you’ll understand.

I think I may have learned my road traveling techniques from my dad, Don Schwab. My parents had eight kids. You can ask all of my siblings and I about our dad and you’ll get eight different answers. So let me tell you how I see it. When they write a blog they can give you their perspective. Don was a very wise and strong man. I believe he loved all of his family, but me the most (again, my blog). Did I mention they had eight kids? And out of those eight there were, let’s see….hmmmm, eight smart asses! Dad was patient. I got a little impatient driving with three kids; I really don’t know how he did it. And none of mine are huge smart asses. Oh, they have their moments, but growing up one of eight you had to be REAL good or you would never get any attention. We had the Ford Country Squire station Wagon. Complete with simulated wood paneling going down the side. We had other vehicles…Dodge Van, Volkswagon Bus and a bunch of Ford Trucks that you could put an infinite amount of kids in the back. That was a different time to be sure. But it was the Country Squire that I remember the best. What I remember the most was the “goo-goo room.” What? You never heard of a “goo-goo room?” The “goo-goo” room is the place in the very back of the Country Squire that had two flip up seats that faced each other. This is good for small people who don’t require air conditioning or windows that open or any comfort what-so-ever. There is a hierarchy in the seating arrangements of a Country Squire. Mom and Dad sat up front and window. At first, I sat between them. My two immediate older brothers sat in the “goo-goo room.” The rest of the kids that happen to be riding with us at the time sat in the middle row, oldest next to the windows. I remember getting “promoted” to the “goo-goo room.” It was owned by my brother Beej and me. Usually there were four kids sitting in the middle seat and Mom and Dad kept their positions. All you really need to know about the seating order is this; it doesn’t matter where you sit, dad can still reach you. This man was no orangutan, but his arms were so long he could certainly hit you in the “goo-goo room,” the more difficult seat immediately behind him, hell he probably could have hit a person in the next car. He was that good! These aren’t bruising shots by any means, just little jabs to get your attention. Kind of letting you know if he wanted, he’d take you out. I would imagine over the course of my 12 years before he died, he heard “are we there yet?” about 1,876,423 times. And several more he didn’t hear, or maybe just didn’t acknowledge. For just having all his family in the car together, he was already there. I think my dad believed whenever you’re going somewhere with someone you love, spending time with them, being in such close proximity, you’re there!


I am reminded of this because I took a road trip with the G/F this past week. We left on Wednesday, drove over 600 miles. Skied Thursday. Woke up Friday and after a short run of the slopes, drove back over 600 miles. Occasionally she would ask me if we were there yet. Funning around mostly. Twelve hundred miles. I gotta tell ya, I really enjoyed it. We didn’t even listen to the radio most of the time. We talked for twelve hundred miles!! Folks that’s about 26 hours! WOW! That’s probably more talking than the last two years of my marriage. We talked about a lot of stuff. Why we were driving 26 hours to ski for about eight? Why her candidate for governor is better than my candidate? (she’s not). Why a Honda doesn’t have an auxiliary input so I could plug in my iPod and only one lighter outlet? How are we to plug in two cell phones and a GPS?! I have a theory why this was so enjoyable. Not at any point during our excursion did we talk about “us.” We talked about everything we could possibly talk about, stupid, stupid stuff, but we never talked about “us.” How great is it that you have something so good you don’t have to talk about it?! Guys you know what I’m talking about. You know you want to turn and run the minute your significant other says, “Let’s talk about us.” WE DROVE 26 HOURS, NEVER HAD AN ARGUMENT AND DIDN’T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT “US!” This is huge. If she WERE to ask me, “are we there yet?’ I’d have to say yes. For the first time in years, I think I’m there!