Do You Really Have To Fly Your Freak Flag So Damn High?

Let’s get a couple of things straight right now! I do not live in Austin, I live in Round Rock and I am currently unemployed. I have not received a paycheck since January. Round Rock is located in Williamson County. Some may call it a backwards-ass county and I can live with that. In Williamson County if you’re caught with an illegal substance you’re in trouble and I can live with that. Here, if you drink and drive you’re screwed and I can live with that. People here seem to lean to the right. Vote republican in every election. Seem to be a lot of “rednecks.” There also seems to be a lot of people who open doors for you, wish you a good day and display common courtesy. I can live with all that. I was in Austin today running errands with my youngest daughter. We drove from her office on 6th street (the entertainment district) to south Austin to central Austin and back to 6th. Here is what I saw…….first off, the people in Austin drive like shit and are rude. Not all of them, just all the ones in cars! While waiting for her, there was a police action up one block. Several police cars screamed by. And a few minutes later two overweight Austin police officers pedaled by on bicycles huffing and puffing. How do they figure out who’s on the bike? Is it punishment for being out of shape? Where do they keep their coffee and donuts? You don’t see this where I live. We forced our way thru traffic on 6th and made our way to the highway where nobody would let us merge onto the interstate. It was then I realized that I was driving like an asshole too because I had to! We whipped into the Home Depot where all the illegal aliens wait on the curb for day labor. I guess all the folks got mad in Arizona and came to Austin? I begrudge nobody for bettering their life, but if I were to move to another country to raise my family we’d all learn the language and not get upset when others didn’t know ours. The fella at the key counter didn’t understand English. Really? We made our way through the day labor seekers and through a barrage of stop lights. At EVERY stop light was a person with a sign letting me know they were not on drugs or an alcoholic or anything like that. They just had some bad luck. They don’t have money for food, but looks like they have money for cigarettes. Thank goodness, I wouldn’t want them to do without the bare necessities. I guess if worse came to worse they could eat the dog that is always with them. I wonder if all the illegal aliens did go back if the people on street corners would go to Home Depot. The thing is, the aliens really will work for food. And I do respect that. I do not respect someone that begs for help if they aren’t willing to help themselves. Again, I haven’t worked in quite some time but I don’t foresee myself begging on a street corner in the near future. So we move forward up Lamar. Anyone familiar with Lamar knows it is a main road with lots of excitement and traffic. My mother would take North Lamar to the moon if it went. She passed over 15 years ago and I’m glad she loved North Lamar for she would take it to Heaven. Of course I know this means South Lamar must go to Hell but I’m a “Northy” so I believe this to be the case. Anyway…………Austin is the home of the cyclist that dominates the 3rd world country known as france every year so as you may expect there are many bicyclists. I do not begrudge them. I myself am a cycling enthusiast, tight little shorts and all! I use cycling as a means of exercise. Many in Austin use it as a means of transportation and I do applaud them. However at least one “man” out there with a purple mo-hawk and Daisy Duke shorts uses it as a stage. Parading in and out of traffic thinking I won’t run over him if given the chance. Surely I’m not alone? Austin started a campaign a few years back. Keep Austin Weird. Yeah, I get it. Austin is weird. Is anyone really proud that a famous bikini wearing transsexual actually gets votes for mayor every election? Are they proud of their children who are pierced to other children? Hey I understand individualism. I have a tattoo! I pierced my ear once. It may not seem like a big deal now but in Pflugerville in the 1980’s it was huge! I also understand the need for attention. I’m the last of eight kids. In my family you had to do something to set yourself apart from every other kid or you just got overlooked! I also know if I came home with a tattoo on my face my dad would have somehow scrubbed my face until it, or my skin came off! I passed this down to my kids I hope. Yeah they want a tattoo, but I don’t have to like it or encourage it. It’s not that I don’t want them to express their individualism. I just don’t want them to express their individualism because everyone else is doing it. Not only that, but do all these idiots know that they are going to have to grow up and get jobs someday? Can you imagine interviewing someone that looks like a lizard? Or explaining to your grandchildren that the serpent tattoo that goes from your hand, around your body and disappears in your ass is the demi-god of the occult that you subscribed to when you were 19? Think VERY carefully about the permanent things kids! Hey, I have to always explain why there is a cartoon tattooed on my shoulder and always include that I didn’t really think that one thru. Here’s another scenario for you………..I own a landscape company and need someone to help me for a day. Do I go to Home Depot for the illegal alien or a street corner for a mooch? If they are in the same place you can bet I’m taking the most normal looking son of a bitch. IJS. In closing I’d just like to encourage people to think it thru. Especially you almost grownups. Don’t blow it right before you go out there in that crazy world. And if you live in Austin now, you may not after you graduate from college. Don’t get used to wearing nothing but a thong to work!!

If You Give Them Everything, That’s What They’ll Come To Expect

I’d like to start today’s blog by saying my mother, Alf, worked two jobs when I was in high school mostly so I wouldn’t have to work. Alf was the model for me on how a parent should be. Please don’t mistake me as saying she was not the best mother in the world, because she was. When I was 15 years old I received my first car. I say received because I didn’t work for it. I wish I had. My mom paid for the car with the insurance money from my dad’s death. I guess I did kind of earn it in a way. Anyway, Alf got me the car. She gave me $10 for gas each week. In those days $10 got me half a tank of gas. A half tank of gas would last me a week. She also gave me money on the weekends so I could hang with my friends and much to her dismay, buy beer. Or take out my girlfriend. Or put in the collection basket at church that she would drag me to on Sunday morning. Yes, my mother worked two jobs because she said she didn’t want me to work because I was playing sports and going to school and generally a fine young man, or so she thought. Whenever I would get in trouble at school (oh sure not very often, but every now and then) she would come to my defense. Her little boy couldn’t have done the horrible things the principal was suggesting!! I did (and then some). I was never totally held accountable for my actions. I tore up that car. I guess because I had no idea what it was worth. I’d love to have that car back today! But much was given to me. Sure, I helped out around the house. I did my own laundry for the most part. I cooked some (had to, mom was at work). I did always put a weekend night aside to spend with Alf. Usually I would party with friends all week. On Fridays I went out with my friends, but Saturdays I would normally spend with Alf. I kind of knew what I had back then. I knew my mother was the finest and knew she wouldn’t be around forever. I also knew she gave me a lot. And I began to expect it. And the little things she asked for in return like going to church with her, I began to try to weasel out of. So let me fast forward a few years. After high school I moved to Dallas. Hated it. Moved back. Guess where I ended up? Right, back with mom. I couldn’t get me shit together but she stuck with me. I lived in her house, ate her food, watched her TV because I couldn’t go anywhere because the car I got when I was 15 was long gone and I couldn’t afford a new one. Thank God neither could my mother. If she could, I’m sure she would’ve bought me one. It took me longer than it should have, but I got my shit together. I got a job and started gaining independence. I bought the biggest piece of shit car you have ever seen, an old Honda civic hatchback that didn’t have brakes. I used to have to downshift and run into the curb to stop. As I could, I’d upgrade. I started getting used to getting things for myself. Thank God!! But I wonder if it would have taken so long if I was made to fend for myself in the beginning? Or at least made held more accountable for ALL my actions. Again, I’m not trying to second guess my mom. She was the absolute best. She was left with some crazy kids when my dad died and I couldn’t imagine doing half the job she did. The woman is a saint! That and…………I may have done the same. When my kids became old enough to drive, cars appeared. Amazing!! When they wrecked those cars, more appeared! When something happened to those, yet more appeared. Something go wrong at school, daddy was there to fight battles, check grades, complain, bitch, moan, have lunch, bring tampons (yes, I still harp on that!), etc, etc. We did make them have jobs and pay for gas and socializing, but that was about it. EDITOR’S NOTE: I’M NOT COMPLAINING! I’M JUST SAYING. I’ve been blessed for the last several years to have a job that provided me with the means to take care of my kids in a manner that would allow them to be pampered to a certain degree. That said, I wish it wouldn’t have become expected. EDITOR’S NOTE: I’m very thankful my children are also thankful. This isn’t a rant to complain about them! It seems to me, people under the age of 20 just come to expect waaaaaaaaay too much to be given to them. A college education is nice, but should be paid for by the person going to school. I got thru 12 years of school without ever getting an A. When I was paying for college for the first time guess what? I have a friend that will drop everything if her kid asks for a sandwich. I just kind of think that sandwich would taste better if they made it themselves. Seems like cars, computers, cell phones, clothes, every last thing is expected now. Even after they move out. I know I’ll hear a lot of comments like, “when I was 14 I was on my own” and “IF I had kids, I’d do ……” What I’d like to know is, what are parents of 18 and ups doing now? Do you pay for auto expenses? Do you pay for college? Are there any conditions to what you will provide? Is it just me? My kids think it is. I guess the proper question is, when do we stop being a parent? Of course I know the answer is never. I also wonder if it just the fact that I have twin girls and the drama is double every time? The good news is, they aren’t exactly Baruka Salt either, although one of them is always saying, “I want an oompa loompa!” Again, I’m thankful for my kids because I think they’re better than most. But that’s what all parents think!