Do You Really Have To Fly Your Freak Flag So Damn High?

Let’s get a couple of things straight right now! I do not live in Austin, I live in Round Rock and I am currently unemployed. I have not received a paycheck since January. Round Rock is located in Williamson County. Some may call it a backwards-ass county and I can live with that. In Williamson County if you’re caught with an illegal substance you’re in trouble and I can live with that. Here, if you drink and drive you’re screwed and I can live with that. People here seem to lean to the right. Vote republican in every election. Seem to be a lot of “rednecks.” There also seems to be a lot of people who open doors for you, wish you a good day and display common courtesy. I can live with all that. I was in Austin today running errands with my youngest daughter. We drove from her office on 6th street (the entertainment district) to south Austin to central Austin and back to 6th. Here is what I saw…….first off, the people in Austin drive like shit and are rude. Not all of them, just all the ones in cars! While waiting for her, there was a police action up one block. Several police cars screamed by. And a few minutes later two overweight Austin police officers pedaled by on bicycles huffing and puffing. How do they figure out who’s on the bike? Is it punishment for being out of shape? Where do they keep their coffee and donuts? You don’t see this where I live. We forced our way thru traffic on 6th and made our way to the highway where nobody would let us merge onto the interstate. It was then I realized that I was driving like an asshole too because I had to! We whipped into the Home Depot where all the illegal aliens wait on the curb for day labor. I guess all the folks got mad in Arizona and came to Austin? I begrudge nobody for bettering their life, but if I were to move to another country to raise my family we’d all learn the language and not get upset when others didn’t know ours. The fella at the key counter didn’t understand English. Really? We made our way through the day labor seekers and through a barrage of stop lights. At EVERY stop light was a person with a sign letting me know they were not on drugs or an alcoholic or anything like that. They just had some bad luck. They don’t have money for food, but looks like they have money for cigarettes. Thank goodness, I wouldn’t want them to do without the bare necessities. I guess if worse came to worse they could eat the dog that is always with them. I wonder if all the illegal aliens did go back if the people on street corners would go to Home Depot. The thing is, the aliens really will work for food. And I do respect that. I do not respect someone that begs for help if they aren’t willing to help themselves. Again, I haven’t worked in quite some time but I don’t foresee myself begging on a street corner in the near future. So we move forward up Lamar. Anyone familiar with Lamar knows it is a main road with lots of excitement and traffic. My mother would take North Lamar to the moon if it went. She passed over 15 years ago and I’m glad she loved North Lamar for she would take it to Heaven. Of course I know this means South Lamar must go to Hell but I’m a “Northy” so I believe this to be the case. Anyway…………Austin is the home of the cyclist that dominates the 3rd world country known as france every year so as you may expect there are many bicyclists. I do not begrudge them. I myself am a cycling enthusiast, tight little shorts and all! I use cycling as a means of exercise. Many in Austin use it as a means of transportation and I do applaud them. However at least one “man” out there with a purple mo-hawk and Daisy Duke shorts uses it as a stage. Parading in and out of traffic thinking I won’t run over him if given the chance. Surely I’m not alone? Austin started a campaign a few years back. Keep Austin Weird. Yeah, I get it. Austin is weird. Is anyone really proud that a famous bikini wearing transsexual actually gets votes for mayor every election? Are they proud of their children who are pierced to other children? Hey I understand individualism. I have a tattoo! I pierced my ear once. It may not seem like a big deal now but in Pflugerville in the 1980’s it was huge! I also understand the need for attention. I’m the last of eight kids. In my family you had to do something to set yourself apart from every other kid or you just got overlooked! I also know if I came home with a tattoo on my face my dad would have somehow scrubbed my face until it, or my skin came off! I passed this down to my kids I hope. Yeah they want a tattoo, but I don’t have to like it or encourage it. It’s not that I don’t want them to express their individualism. I just don’t want them to express their individualism because everyone else is doing it. Not only that, but do all these idiots know that they are going to have to grow up and get jobs someday? Can you imagine interviewing someone that looks like a lizard? Or explaining to your grandchildren that the serpent tattoo that goes from your hand, around your body and disappears in your ass is the demi-god of the occult that you subscribed to when you were 19? Think VERY carefully about the permanent things kids! Hey, I have to always explain why there is a cartoon tattooed on my shoulder and always include that I didn’t really think that one thru. Here’s another scenario for you………..I own a landscape company and need someone to help me for a day. Do I go to Home Depot for the illegal alien or a street corner for a mooch? If they are in the same place you can bet I’m taking the most normal looking son of a bitch. IJS. In closing I’d just like to encourage people to think it thru. Especially you almost grownups. Don’t blow it right before you go out there in that crazy world. And if you live in Austin now, you may not after you graduate from college. Don’t get used to wearing nothing but a thong to work!!